Now that the Oscars are here I Culled this from my own brain and the real behavior of our politicians

Now that the Oscars are here we seem to be missing Julia Roberts playing Julia Roberts and getting an Oscar for that.

Now that the Oscars are here I noticed that the people crashing after Crystal Meth are finding that their prostitutes aren’t  Julia Roberts & don’t have her teeth or teeth at all.

NOTE TO JOHN CAMERON: Now that the Oscars are here we need another romantic “hook up” between Julia Roberts and Tom Hanks. They should play space warriors with English accents who are from a planet like Rome who get cast in movies where they play themselves. Or we could cast Phillip Seymour Hoffman to play them. He would do a better job playing them than they do playing themselves.

Now that the Oscars are out we seem to be short of Roman Gladiator movies where everyone has an English accent.

Now that the Oscars are here we seem to be missing movies about World War II where the Japanese commandants have mid western accents.

Now that the Oscars are here we seem to be missing movies about fictional space planets where everyone speaks English.

Now that the Oscars are here we seem to be missing Michael Douglas as a tough guy who gets all the girls.

Now that the Oscars are here we seem to be missing

And now brian’s salute to government and Speaker of the House and the good old days.

Kansas pays Kansas Speaker of the House O’Neal Good job. They should hire Newt & keep him away from us. Kansas is already screwed. I like the old days when our speakers of the house from state to federal only cheated on their wives, hid drug habits, made contracts with America. It was a good time when Senators chased prostitutes, Congressmen got caught with Strippers and Governors cheated on Cancer ridden wives. I also like Governors who cheated on their wives and got replaced by partially blind Governors who cheated on their wives. It was a gentler time America. Let us pray for the days when  lechery, debauchery, sexual appetites gone wild and drug abuse guided  our great nation’s leaders on every level. It was a good time. Thank you Speaker of the House O’Neal. We praise you for helping us find our way.

 

Another amazing oddity by brian h. keller.