Most people don’t realize that we, the people who create advertising, do so for the people who don’t create advertising. Most people who don’t create advertising are probably nice, so we in the business have taken our jobs with a sworn duty to inform the masses about where they can buy the best stuff for the best price. Most of advertising is really about the deal and where to get the best one. It’s not all image.
On the day an agency staffer is hired, he/she is sworn in in The Secret Swear-In Room. Most people don’t know this, as The Secret Swear-In Room is a secret. Anyway, once the swearing-in is done and the new advertising workers start their official careers, they have the awesome power to give the public the best information possible in the most creative way.
We have taken the time to walk you through some of our favorite communications to the masses that need “cable.”
We went to each site based on a short online ad (with offer) that directed us to the site and the offer.
We found that if you go to comcast.com you can get two things: TV and fast Internet. It’s just $79.99. That seemed very reasonable. But, being frugal, we searched for more ads that led to other sites. At comcastconnect.com/doubleplay, they offer something called the Double Play (that’s two things) and it starts at only $79.99. You get a free gift card. Being true American bargain hunters, we hunted for another offer. We found, intuitively, comcastoffers.com and got a great offer. They offered the Double Play at $89.99 with no gift card. It’s a great offer…if you’re stupid. Well, we ran from that site. We didn’t really run. Saying we ran is poetic license. Actually, there is no “we.” I made that up. I was the one who didn’t run.
Now that that’s straight, I went to http://www.comcastauthorizedoffers.com. I figured that if it was Comcast authorized, it would present the best offer. It was. I saw a great hook in the online ad for a Double Play at $59.99. Wow. So I went to the page and there it was: the Double Play starting at $79.99 with no gift card. That was okay, as everyone knows that $79.99 is the new $59.99. Even with that reasoning, I decided to continue to look at new ads and new sites. I found comcast.com/cable-internet-packages.html. It was really good, as the starter Double Play was only $79.99. I couldn’t really see the deal, as the “Starter” was obscured by the ad for Triple Play, which is only $79.99 a month. The Triple Play ad had the Goldbergs on it. I found this ad compelling, so I called Comcast.
Manny: Hello, and how can I help you today?
Me: I saw a Triple Play offer of $79.99 and a Double Play offer of $79.99.
Manny: Yes, the Triple Play; now, that’s an offer.
Me: I see that. I only want the Double Play. I’m not ambitious enough for a Triple Play.
Manny: Good. I’ll start the paperwork.
Me: It’s the same price. I don’t want the phone.
Manny: Yes, right. If you take the phone, it’s cheaper.
Me: I don’t want the phone. I’m scared of radiation.
Manny: That’s a cell phone.
Me: Thanks, Manny. I still don’t want the phone.
Manny: Okay. That’s $79.99 for the Double Play.
Manny: Because you’re not taking the Triple Play. You get free phone service.
Me: Why is the Triple Play less than the Double Play?
Manny: Because you get a phone.
Me: Oh. Since you explained it that way, I’ll take the Triple Play.
Manny: Great move, sir.
Me: Thanks, Manny. Hold the phone, then discount it because I didn’t take the phone.
Manny: We can’t do that.
Manny: You can’t just hold the phone. It wouldn’t be the Triple Play without the phone.
I went to http://www.comcast.com/corporate/shop/productoverview.html, where the Triple Play is $79, a savings of 99 cents. I was close. comcast.com/locations/in-my-area gave me an option on a drop-down of all the Double Play offers. All the Double Play offers are $79.99. There is one Double Play offer. It has its own drop-down. On that page, they let you know that the Triple Play starts at $79.99.
It all made sense, but I decided to follow another ad,http://www.comcast.com/corporate/learn/digitalcable/digitalcable.html, and learned that the digital starter program is $49.99 for cable and Internet (two things) and, yes, the Triple Play is $79.99. There is no Double Play. Thwarted, I moved to comcast.com/customerdeals, but I had to sign into my account, which I didn’t have. So I called the 800 number and they advised me to sign up for a plan and then upgrade. They offered me the Double Play, which has no phone, for $79.99 as a starter and then told me I could upgrade to the Triple Play for $79.99. That has a phone, and a gift card. They also told me that if I got Blast with the Triple Play it would be $91. I asked them about Blast. They told me it was good.
Finally, I was getting somewhere. Then I went to xfinityauthorizedoffers.com. Xfinity is the name Comcast uses to sound futuristic, but they still use Comcast so as not to scare off too many Baby Boomers, who wouldn’t know how to hook up their VHS recorders to something called Xfinity. I didn’t get too far and moved on to an ad that led me tobundleplans.com/double-bundles, which opened with the Comcast Triple Play at only $99. Finally, I followed an ad that led me to comcastdoubleplay/newest/comcastlimitedtimeoffers. I opened the page. It came up with the Xfinity starter XF Triple Play for $99.
I want cable, but I got tired. I went to Netflix through an ad that said “Rent Movies from Netflix (Free Trial).” I went there and got really confused. It took five minutes. I got a free trial. The ad said it’s $11.99 a month. So far, it’s cost me $11.99 a month. I’m still confused by that ad.
NOTE: If you noticed that all the sites were Comcast sites with different names, I will offer you a Double Play at $79 a month. No gift card.