I have to admit to this great nation, I

I have to admit to this great nation, I have sinned. America it’s up to you to forgive me. First, I hired some good looking kid to pretend to be my son and to pretend to skate board with me so I could be seen as not just a failure but a not too bright failure with a great looking kid I seemed to have a relationship with. I figured I’d be seen as failure who skate boards thus a cool failure (for my age). Then I cheated the kid and his agent out of his pay.
Now I am posting a picture of my fake son’s new kitten so you will see how cute the kitten and my fake son are and what a great guy I am to have a kitten even though I am allergic and am now on a respirator. America probably would have let me lead it one day because of this incredible cuteness. Because I’m not particularly nice even though I pretend to be sometimes I took the kitten back to the junk yard after I took the photo. I did pay her though. She immediately bought a bong and got high with the kid that I cheated.
America I beg your forgiveness. You are a great nation. I will lead you one day or at least work in the library of one of your fine federal prisons.
http://ow.ly/i/kRGG

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