Everything changes so much. How can you keep up?

Everything is so different now.

I went to school a long time ago.

  1. Kids sat around the “mall” on our campus and played  Frisbee, listened to local cover bands, protested the illegal war and started every sentence with “Like.”
  2. People complained that this school was so bogus, where was the money going why were they  paying so much tuition?” Actually they didn’t pay much tuition at all their parents paid it.
  3. And most thought the President was not so great:

i.      “Nixon is a shifty-eyed goddamn liar…He’s one of the few in the history of this country to run for high office talking out of both sides of his mouth at the same time and lying out of both sides.”

bad president then

People said the economy was in the dumps but soon we’ll have jet packs.

Quotes heard on campus:

“I got the coolest flannel at Goodwill. It was only 38 cents.”

I went back to school. I go to school now.

  1. I went back to after a long time. I’ve noticed kids sit around the “quad” on our urban campus and play some Frisbee, listen to local cover bands, protest the illegal war and begin every  text  with “Like.”
  2. People complain that “this school is so bogus, where is the money going why am I paying so much tuition?” Actually they don’t pay much tuition at all their parents pay it.
  3. And most think the President is not so great:

i.     ”In 2008 Obama ran for President saying tax cuts for the wealthy needed to end. Everyone cheered. In 2010 Obama renewed the tax cuts for the wealthy saying they were “needed” to keep the economy strong. Everyone booed. Obama is talking out both sides of his mouth and lying from each side. Shifty enough for you.”

bad president now

“I hope the economy changes it sucks now but soon we’ll have jet packs.”

Quotes heard on campus:

“I got the coolest flannel at American Eagle. It was only $38.00”

I like being back in school it is, like, so different than the last time.

THEN

People were complaining about the price of Crosby Stills and Nash tickets and that they their entry level jobs and college jobs couldn’t cover it.

NOW

People are complaining that the Crosby Stills and Nash 2012 August tour is going to be overpriced and Social Security Checks won’t cover it.

THEN

Joining a “tea party” usually meant you were smoking “dope.” Sometimes you washed it down with Quaaludes and Robitussin and dressed in colorful outfits.

NOW

Joining a “tea party” usually means you’re joining a political party and sometimes you wash it down with tea and dress in colorful outfits.

tea party now

THEN

My father wouldn’t buy a color TV. He wanted to see it perfected and knew it would never happen.

NOW

I’m not buying a 3D TV. I’ll wait until it’s perfected.

THEN

I had never seen the Rolling Stones and I passed on buying some Rolling Stones Tickets. I don’t know why and my friends thought I was crazy. I just said: “I’ll get them next time, they’ll be around forever.” One of my friends said “Like, dude, some of them are almost 30, they’ll be like dead soon.”

NOW

I have never seen the Rolling Stones and I passed on buying some Rolling Stones Tickets. I don’t know why and my friends think I’m crazy I just said: “I’ll get them next time, they’ll be around forever.” One of my friends skyped and said “Like, dude, some of them are almost 75, they’ll probably only do one tour a year, now.”

THEN

Otis Redding live doing “Try a little Tenderness” with the Bar-Kays was very cool.

NOW

Otis Redding dead doing “Try a little Tenderness with Kanye West is very cool.

Everything keeps getting differenter and differenter except me and you we just keep on rolling on.

Couple of things:

I took my son to the mall the other night so he could hang out. He got rousted by a security guard and said he was a “dick”  If the security guard in Jerusalem wasn’t such a “dick” there would be no Christmas.

Last Saturday night I took my son and his friends to another mall. They came back. I said “What did you guys do? They said “Look for girls.”  I said “Don’t do that, if you find one you’ll wind up driving  a bunch of boys to the mall on Saturday night to look for girls.”

THEN

I went to the Mall on Saturday with my friends.

NOW

I go to the mall on Saturday with my son’s friends.

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6 thoughts on “Everything changes so much. How can you keep up?

  1. This would be a lot funnier if I weren’t so old and it weren’t so true! But I do think it’s cool that the Stones are still performing. (Too bad about Otis Redding.)

    I guess going to law school has put the fear of god into you: I have noticed you are using a lot more punctuation these days. what have you been smoking?

  2. oh i really don’t care about punctuation. i don’t think about it ever so if it’s there it’s there

    1. mike i’d like to punctuate your statement with a heartfelt I agree and we should all punctuate stuff like I mean all that kind of stuff and things

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