Newz and Notz

I’m introducing my latest feature to my blog. It will fit well with all  my other “blog features” like bad spelling, ridiculous topics, bad grammar and a lack of a point of view. My friend, who is very nice, says I have a “spot on world view.” I don’t know what a world view even is but I’m glad mine is spot on.

This new feature will keep you up with everything you need to know about everything. It’s really good as features go.

I’m calling this feature  Newz and Notz (get it News and Notes) I used all the creativity I could muster to name this thing and then paid homage to my career in advertising  and just used it . I think in the music business it’s called sampling I have crazy “sampling” power. I think I will sample some other  stuff too. So, please go and buy   The Inner Circle. Don’t get all confused and buy  the one by Brad Meltzer. Although the book holds the   – Number 1 spot on the NY Times Best Sellers List – you should buy my sample. I mean I’m taking the time to read part of it and I’m copying  the book right now and when I finish doing it it won’t be plagiarized it will be sampled and I will make it available to all my readers at a new low low price  and with every purchase I will include a bottle of Cristal and some Prada “wear” with various labels you can sew on yourself.

No, it’s not stealing it’s sampling so when you  send me money you won’t be helping me do anything wrong.  I will thank you when I have houses on all the continents and  the baseball package on cable.

Anyway, what would the Beatles have been had Julia not been sampled by Jay –Z or who would have remembered the White Album if there had been no Gray or Black Album and who could forget Organized Confusion and Stress (which got some lovable mop top to almost sue them – really those Brits are so sensitive) . Don’t forget  Wu Tang and The Heart Gently Weep.

A note: If you are Stevie Wonder (you may not be able to read this), Sly Stone, alive guys from the Who, Led Zeppelin, or James Brown (you may not be able to read this either) or anyone else who may have been sampled don’t worry it’s a homage which I think may be French for sample.

I’m kind of rethinking possible here. The neat thing about this name  it is that when someone came up with this originally it wasn’t too good of a name  and I really don’t have much to say that’s too good so this is perfect which is good.

And now Newz and Notz

Keith Olberman is leaving his program. I think he is probably leaving so he can scour the country looking for the main Maine blogger who may have been mean to him.

And  Bill O’Reilly is looking for the main Maine blogger who was mean to Keith Olberman with  a list of mean things to say about other people.

Now for Newz and Notz Entertaiment Newz: Don’t forget to watch Hawaii Five O with a James Caan sample.

Also don’t forget to see Roommate opening on February 4 2011. It’s about these two females who are roommates and one is single and white and, things go well for a while until the one female who is single and white, gets all crazy with herself as she becomes dangerously obsessed with the other one. I think it may be the most original movie of the year.



  1. This is, of course, extremely hysterical. I love the fact that you don’t know what a world view is but you are glad yours is spot on. And it is! That’s what’s so great about your blog.

    Couple of things: Surprised you said you would have “houses” on all continents, I assume you meant “cribs.” Also, why not put out a braille version of your blog so Stevie Wonder can read it? Are you discriminating against blind musicians? Lucky for you Ray Charles is already dead. That is not cool… before you know it, that Maine blogger will be after YOUR politically incorrect hide!

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