I needed a quote and found one that couldn’t be right. I doesn’t make sense

The other day, a long time ago, I put up(on Facebook) an ad for a client I was working on. It had a quote in it by Ralph Waldo Emerson who was a pretty nice guy. I’m saying ‘was’ because he is probably dead but I may friend him and see. I don’t know him personally so I may be denied by Facebook. But I will give him a like and I will let you know.  People seemed to like the ad so I think/thought  I  may be on to something.

Now I’m working on other stuff so I figured if I could get Ralph Waldo Emerson, who may be dead, to do all kinds of work for me then I should do it again, so I did. I found a whole bunch of quotes, many of them used in your end comments on E-Mails but who wants to get into that again? They just didn’t work though.

I found famous quotes like “Voters quickly forget what a man says.” Richard Nixon, ” I hope to be involved in a successful movie script.” Kareem Abdul Jabbar (and everyone else), Thank you 0fficer. We love the police.” Paris Hilton, “I admire the relationship she had with John Lennon and hope I can be a similar influence to Tiger” Elin Nordergren,  ” Achieving life is not the equivalent of avoiding death.” Ayn Rand – This one is totally cool because I’m alive so I get it but if I’m still alive how come I haven’t avoided death? I think I have avoided death,so far, unless I’m Bruce Willis in that movie where he doesn’t know he’s dead.” Someone let me know if I’m alive and that it’s just my career that is dead or please let me know if I’m dead then I won’t do this anymore. If I don’t hear anything I will assume I’m dead and then I’ll take a nice stroll.

Well back to the quotes as cool as they all are/were none were good enough to borrow for an ad that would make me look good so I have to think of something myself which is really a shame.

Then it happened I saw a quote and I’ll give you the paraphrase of the quote I found  “Religion is the opium of the people.” Karl Marx.

I think Karl Marx was/is a “dirty commie” and one of the reasons we had to go beat up Vietnam and a bunch of other commie countries where we now surf and spend lots of money. We taught them a lesson and learned one ourselves back there in the “Big Muddy”. I will not friend that bastard even if I know him and his son Richard.

So, Opium (and it’s derivatives) cost a lot of money to buy, people get confused when the use it, they say dumb stuff and argue a lot if they’re not nodding out, they usually hang out in the same places and use it. Really interested users who’s habits are extreme  (we like to call them junkies) usually have families that are affected, people also fight over the stuff, and sometimes kill for it, Opium makes people do stupid things and act irrational. People push it all over the world and have been for thousands of years and usually want you to buy their kind of drug or they try to push it on you to get you addicted. It can get nasty. It can take over whole neighborhoods, cities and even countries.  Everyone seems to fight over it in one way or another.  And remember, Mr. Marx if you’re not dead,  a guy from a religious country invented Opium and that guy’s name is Yves Saint Laurent and he wouldn’t like you and either would that French  teenage religious warrior chick who got burned up a while back and neither would Gerard Depardieu ( who’s in here because I can spell Depardieu)

So, take that Karl Marx next time you want to compare Opium to religion and huddled masses yearning to score dope  just go and do your homework look around the world and remember Opium and all those really bad drugs make people all crazy and they’re expensive. Religion is free, right? It doesn’t make people all crazy, right? So there Karl and how long did you play for Utah and why did they call you the Mailman?

And the Ad could be “Opium it’s the religion of the masses and a perfume too” Now that’s a headline.


4 thoughts on “I needed a quote and found one that couldn’t be right. I doesn’t make sense

  1. Way too much French stuff in this one, man. Depardieu, Yves SL, Jeanne d’Arc, perfume even. I am worried about you.

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