Hey TV spots and more from Brian

Hey click this link for a video extravaganza fit for kids of all ages

This piece will benefit absolutely no one but me. So, look at it read it and go see lots of work. There are a bunch of pieces with me on camera  charming  America as the Honda Guy Some say I was sporting history’s worst hair-cut and that it gave confidence to Donald Trump. Going the opposite direction, after seeing my tonsorial failure,  Hilary Clinton waxed up her coif – so yes I am responsible for this year’s election extravaganza

Anyway, over the years I’ve been doing lots of broadcast: I started as an editor then, I was a fancy director now, I’m not fancy but one day I woke up and said: “Hey I should  put all this stuff up old and new and let everyone see it. So I did. So, one day like today go look at all this stuff  here. I put more up every day. I think I’ve done hundreds of pieces so this is fun to finally count. There is no order but I’m sure since you know me you would have guessed that


Hashtag OMG I need to manage my time or my profile will slip slide away, Hashtag virtually critical.

I have to quit work and leave my embryonic freelance career. I just saw that my LinkedIn profile views are down 60% this week. Hashtag, not a thought leader.


Selfie 2d229b_b925d9057fdc4d1e8e9feba82dfd30a0

I am hysterical. I can’t even look at my Facebook likes. Likes are probably down. I have not sent an emoticon, wished a stranger a happy birthday, taken a picture of food asked for a hug or asked friends to copy and paste the new and heinous Facebook privacy policies.  God, some of you send hugs. Please.

Forget YouTube, YouTube Red, Vimeo, Vimeo Pro. No uploads as of late and haven’t looked.  I fear that there will be a view-drop there too.

As for Twitter, I have not had the bandwidth to do Twitter lately. Followers are dropping. It’s my fault, as I have shown no character(s) for too long.

There’s been no Reddit; Blogger or Word Press and views are probably in the digital gutter.  What about my numbers on Digg – Ooops?

Instagram, the hearts have probably slowed to a trickle and   Pinterest, I haven’t pinned anything recently. I haven’t added to the “world’s catalog of ideas,” Oh, my boards.

Oh, Captain my captain I’m standing on a burning deck, my digital space is dreck.

Moreover, Tumblr has been contacting me, and I haven’t responded I cannot look.

Maybe I’ll blog and go all “Add this.”

____________AOL, (that space before AOL is there for you to make mean jokes) I do not remember my AOL name I have not AOL’ed in 10 years, that’s going to hurt.

My Flickr is foul, and I am sure Friendster is not happy with me.

Admission, I don’t get MySpace, but I have it. Isn’t that where the Millenials went to hide from geriatrics on Facebook? I think they went there. I’m going to look for one. Hashtag, I’m millennial-centric.

Organic reach I have no organic reach I need organic reach. Do I Meme or Infographic or do I go native? Save me “Big Data.”

I can’t work; I mean who will know that I work when I haven’t watered my digital garden enough to get “views and the like, so what’s the point?

I haven’t paid attention to Google +, and Google communities, I can’t figure it out but no one else can either, that probably gets me views and a thumbs up just for my admission.

Stumble Upon? Four Square? Moreover, then there’s Vine, or is there? Probably no views lately. Okay, what’s Hive?

I do not know anything About Me, Opportunity or Angel List do they have views or likes I need likes and views? I’m having a digital breakdown. Hashtag Zoloft.

What if my growing lack of views and lead to unfriending and unfollowing. I may be tossed into a virtual digital gutter. Do not leave me virtual, digital trophies. (Emoticon) I have separation anxiety.  Hashtag neurosis.

To save myself virtually and get more follows, views, likes, and digital love I will have to be fast. First the creation of a list of action items, then the drill down to look for a way that I can embrace sustainability and meet stakeholder expectations. It will have to be out of the box thinking. I have to take a real look behind the kimono, and I can resonate again. Hashtag trending.

I will be digitally diligent and work my forty “properties with new material and post like a fiend it will help over the course of time.

I will create vertical versions of all my new “digital video” on Facebook then link them to YouTube and post on Vimeo which will double my material. A good friend, on the subject of vertical, said I should just blog on telling people to hold their phones differently. I think that may be too complicated to explain.

I think the bleeding is stopping, send a thumbs up. I may have to go back to work one day. OMG, Hashtag, Influencer.

America is under fire: “Another Brick in the Wall”





We’ve stopped the madness before. There is precedent. Rise up.

This may be the wrong forum to speak about something so critically important, but I can be silent no longer: In an attempt to speed up the game (to be more action oriented a la NFL football) Major League Baseball looking to start Extra Innings with a “man” on 2nd.

The average MLB game lasts 2 hours, 52 minutes. The average NFL game is 3 hours and 12 minutes. We just had a Super Bowl where overtime ended without one team getting the opportunity to “get the ball” in the extra quarter.

In an NFL game this past season (Dallas vs. Pittsburgh) there were 13 scoring plays

  • The game took 3 hours, 18 minutes to complete on Fox
  • Over three hours of that time were consumed by replays analysis, and sideline reports
  • About 110 commercials.
  • 15 minutes of actual game action.

Stop the madness before a run is produced when “the runner ”breaks the plane of home plate.

“Leave them, kids alone”

The beauty of baseball is: “It ain’t over til it’s over.” Raise your voice “Say it ain’t so.” This is the time for an executive order calling for a 2nd base travel ban.




Feeling guilty about your color? You won’t after you read about all these privileged folk.



The Virginian (Appalachia) and his kids want you to know that they feel privileged to be white, but after becoming active on social media, they do feel guilty about it.

The Kentucky kids are privileged to live equally with white people in Appalachia.

There are 25 million people in Appalachia. More than 20% are privileged to live in poverty. No matter what their color, I would bet they would be happy to give up some of their privileges.

If you are privileged enough to have a little bit of extra dough, take a look at the link below and then send some of your unwanted dollars to the Health Wagon. Just click the link and find out all about the Health Wagon. You will be privileged to know what they do, and it will be a privilege to help. Assist them now and feel privileged to know you are a damn hero. http://thehealthwagon.org/hwwp/

You have passed the link if you are reading this sentence. Here it is again it is hidden under a subliminal message that says send your money here. I guess it is not subliminal anymore so:  Send your money here.


The Apocalypse is Near: Hope You Can Live in a Fast-Paced Environment

Advertising has been a barometer on the state of the world as it borrows from culture, trends, and events. After studying some of this year’s work in our last column, it’s decided that the apocalypse is close. Part two of 2016.

If there is a 2017, “generating the big idea in a fast-paced environment” will be a skill to nurture as most people need slow-paced environments and they tend to generate small ideas. They may be able to compete by becoming team players and brand stewards while providing thought leadership and perspective for adoption after taking a deep dive.

Trending: Occupational Trends in 2016
“Digital advertising, also called Internet advertising (“Internet marketing”) is when businesses leverage Internet technologies to deliver promotional advertisements to consumers.”

Plain old advertising
“Advertising is defined as “the activity or profession of producing advertisements for the commercial products or services of businesses targeted to consumers.”

If the world continues advertising, professionals must adapt to the digital space or face a career apocalypse. Digital advertising is tough to understand as opposed to traditional advertising.

An ad for a Digital Creative Director contains 912 enlightening words. A similar ad for a position titled just Creative Director came in at 508 words. Both were posted online. The  “Creative Director” post will probably not be viewed as it’s a digital post and beyond the reach of most people.

Sidebar: An ad for an Academic Cardiothoracic/Transplant Surgeon came in at 141 words.

Note: If you are lucky enough to hide your lack of “digitalness” and speak to a job poster (digital), it could go like this:

Them: “You don’t seem to be involved in the digital space.”

Turn the interview around with a digital interview saver like this: 

You: “I’m totally invested. I just bought Queen’s Greatest Hits Volume 1 on vinyl for just $32.39 at Barnes and Noble. I hear they brought in Bub Asman and Alan Robert Murray (Academy Award winners best sound editing 2015, American Sniper) during the remaster to recreate, digitally, pops and hisses, which had been digitally removed from the original tracks. I’m curating it now; you know analog to digital and back to analog is the new digital.

Them: “You curate. Wow.”

You: “Totally. I’d like to curate this: Let’s bring back the photographs of Dorothea Lange and Walker Evans and colorize those depressing  black-and-white Depression photos. Then we “Photoshop” Flo into them and create hysterical Flo memes for Progressive and boom, the Depression, hah, progressively becomes funnier.”

Them: “LOL, I was thinking that.”

You: “I totally love LOL.”

In 2016 copywriters were replaced by content strategists.

“Copywriting is written content based on a strategy and conveyed through various media and helps boost the client’s business objectives and raise awareness among customer’s or end user’s needs. Copy is content primarily used for the purpose of advertising or marketing. This type of written material is often used to persuade a person or group as well as to raise brand awareness.”

Content Creation
“The core function of the content creator’s job is developing a content strategy based on a company’s or client’s business objectives and raise awareness among customer’s or end user’s needs. Creative professionals in this role oversee content requirements and create content strategy deliverables across a project lifecycle.”

Content creation is very complicated. If you want to eat in 2017 and beyond then know the difference. We’ve included tips from an article written and published in 2014 on becoming a great content creator. Content creation is difficult for laypeople to understand.

From “7 Things That Really Great Content Creators Do” 

“Anyone can report on a topic, but it takes a seasoned content creator to actually reach people with their writing.” (Author’s note: This refers to creating content, not just writing regular old words.)

“In order to become a really great content creator, you must have a strong understanding of not only the subject matter itself but also the internal and external factors that help it take shape.”

1. “They Understand Their Audience” (Author’s Note: Writers understand their audience’s neurosis.)
2. “They Talk About More Than Themselves” (Author’s Note: Writers can’t do that)
3. “They Make Smarter Decisions” (Author’s Note: Writers decided to become writers…not a smart decision,)
4. “They Repurpose” (Author’s Note: Writers borrow.)
5. “They Update” (Author’s Note: Writers are too neurotic to look back.)
6. “Great content creators know how to keep their writing fresh.” (Author’s Note: Yes, like this refreshing article.)
7. “They Write Consistently” (Author’s Note: Why? We don’t understand this one.)

In 2016 art directors have been replaced by digital designers.

“Digital designers develop an agency’s digital design capability by creating inventive concepts that exceed client expectations and ensure the proper messaging and image is conveyed to consumers.”

“Art directors ensure that their clients’ desired message and image is conveyed to consumers. Art directors are responsible for the overall visual aspects of an advertising or media campaign.”

These jobs are close, but as you can see, an art director creates work that does not exceed client expectations and they create “noninventive” concepts. So, if you’re an art director, you’ll need more training in expectation exceeding and inventive concept creating.

Stuff We’ve Seen in ’16
Facebook announced that Facebook Attends Cannes Lions 

Mark Zuckerberg used Facebook Live to post video of his food (live and not static) at the many dinners he and the Facebook staffers attended.

An Advertising Announcement that Gave Some Hope: Yay for Google 
“In May Google announced that all payday loans and high-interest loan ads would now be banned. Later that month, Google also announced that ads from third-party tech support services would no longer be allowed because of ‘serious quality issues.’”

Miller Lite Redux
With nothing refreshing to say about Miller Lite’s beer, Miller Lite pulled out work from the past when the work and the beer were refreshing. And, not to be outdone by any direct mail messenger, Miller Lite also created work about their original bottles being back for a limited time only.

Our Chromosomes Have Been Hacked: Some Promos for Magazine Covers in 2016
Is it Trump or is it the Russians or is it Trump and the Russians?

1. Cosmopolitan: “Sexy Hair.”
2. Bazaar: “What’s Sexy Now.”
3. Cosmopolitan: (saying sod off, Bazaar) “Sex Moves That Change Lives.”
4. Marie Claire: (Says nuts to Cosmo and Bazaar) “The Sex Toy That Broke The Internet.”
5. Women’s Health: “8 Guys Fess Up To Whether They’ve Been Naughty or Nice This Year….in Bed”

1. Esquire: “William Faulkner’s Hot Toddy Recipe”
2. Men’s Fitness: “Lose Your Gut”
3. Men’s Journal: “Be A Better Husband”
4. Men’s Health: “5 Heart Saving Foods”
5. Men’s Journal: “The Golden Age Of Beer”

Insight: As far as we can see, men now only sleep in bed.

Ads on a Desert Island 2016
Some twits of England make even our inner-directed advertising workers look good with their Ads on a Desert Island. If you have electricity, TV, etc. why look at ads when you can watch The Americans or Narcos or House of Cards, etc. without ads?

In 2016 we discovered there would be a Famous Idaho Potato Bowl (not a potato in a bowl a football game).

A recent post/promo on the site for the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl had this ESPN counter: 4 days 11 hours 5 minutes. (Author’s Note: Now that’s content, strategized and curated perfectly.)

We also found:

A Zaxby’s Heart of Dallas Bowl (we think they serve chicken and they also serve “Zalads.”)
A Foster Farms Bowl (chicken, don’t know about “Zalads”)
A Quicklane Bowl (oil?)
A Russel Athletic Bowl (sports apparel) where the representative teams, West Virginia University and Miami, wear Nike.

The ad spending on the 41 College football bowl games will be over $1 billio. Some teams have records above .500.

In 2016 we heard this radio ad where a guy says:

“Hiring employees is the worst part of my job.” Now, instead of carefully vetting resumes and getting to know capabilities, you can let an algorithm do it for you. If you’re trusted to hire for your company, do it right.

If the world continues, maybe the survivors will circle back. We’ll have to de-integrate and begin talking to each other about ideas and perhaps not use ridiculous “business speak.”

Content was curated digitally in the writing of this piece.

Really…Someone Thought This Stuff Up



If you love advertising, you love the awards. Here’re a few awards for mind-boggling contributions to messaging, be it digital, TV, radio, social media, or out of home, in 2016. We couldn’t wait until the end of the year.

Social media has become a go-to force in creating messaging that that can break down doors and reach millions in almost an instant.

The winner of the Sorry: Foot in the Mouth Award……

A tweet posted on International Women’s Day by the GOP (National Republican Senatorial Committee said: “Tammy Duckworth doesn’t ‘stand up’ for vets.”

Democratic Senator Elect Tammy Duckworth, a former Assistant Secretary of the Department of Veteran Affairs, lost her legs while serving in Iraq.

If You’re Not White Enough, You’re Not Good Enough Award
Social Media
Seoul Secret, a beauty brand, thought the campaign “White makes you win” was tweet-worthy, so they done tweeted it along with a video (play) of Chris Horwang, actress and singer, speaking of her work and how being whiter has helped her to great success.

If you’re a digital brand, you need to be away from home.

The Digital, Who Needs Stinking Digital, Award
Facebook decided to go out of home for some important messages. We expect that Big Data led the geniuses at Facebook to that decision, as we’re sure that the power of a board at places like the Mineola stop of the Long Island Railroad was the best place for a brand that has about a billion online daily users. But wait, there’s more. Facebook, an application that’s treasured for its “likes,” pictures of food, cute kittens, multiple identities, and insane political rants gave us these great messages: the stirring “A place for Remembering” and the anthem-like “A place where words aren’t needed.” The “ads” are all type.

The Henry David Thoreau Smokes American Spirits and Has a Bike Messenger Bag Award Television
Now, a modern-day hipster Walt Whitman is seen in a diner writing away on his laptop. An appropriately hot waitress approaches him and inquires as to what he’s doing. Not wanting to give away “a work in progress,” he does just that and we are treated to (full version) 2 minutes and 49 seconds of “Songs of the Open Road,” complete with buffaloes, big cities, great-looking people, small cities, desserts, small towns, and all manner of Americana brought to us by modern Whitman from the window of his Volvo, which, of course, keeps all our roads more open. We look forward to hipster Thoreau’s take on the launch of the reconfigured EST that will probably break on the Super Bowl. Oh, Captain my Captain, OMG.

Let’s Pander To A Millennial Award: A Tie.
Four lovely millennials are taking what appears to be a long trip on the most romantic of people carriers — a train. As the stunning countryside drifts softly and beautifully outside the windows of the train, our impeccably dressed quartet focuses only on their quest for Korean food in Boulder Colorado. After finding a fare for all, they relax with a side trip to virtual reality land. We guess that the incredulous woman using the VR gear is gasping at the beauty of the virtual country as seen from a virtual train window brought to them by Google’s Pixel and Verizon

A Chef Reprimands the Saucy Sous Chef. What Would You Do?
Well, you could leave the kitchen, get in your car, and drive while singing “You Don’t Own Me.” “You Don’t Own Me” was written by John Madara and Dave White, produced by Quincy Jones, and first performed by the Long Island songbird Leslie Gore. The song became an early statement of emancipation for young women. Here the emancipated include our chef, roller derby queens, bicyclists, basketball spinners, and all manner of really good-looking millennials taking part in the song of themselves. Eventually, our Chef returns, happily, to the kitchen from where she should have been fired and completes her dish. “Ey, get up, stand up, and stand up for your rights!” Go Toyota go. “Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you Wu wu wu.”

I Wish I Thought of That/ Hey I Did Think of That First…or Did I? Award

  1. Lead fearlessly (as opposed to leading in fear) Robert H. Smith School of Business — University of Maryland)
  2. Live fearless (as opposed to living in fear) — Blue Cross/Blue Shield

The Lifetime Achievement Award for Offensiveness
Local Television
A mattress company in San Antonio decided to be the first to take a comic look at 9/11. It’s long overdue in our overly sensitive country. 9/11 should now be considered a funny. Complete with toppling twin towers made of mattresses, this commercial could help the country, after a bitter election, unite. We should all give thanks that we are the only country where something like this could possibly see the light of day.

Runners Up and a Few Great Lines 
Identifyepi.com (Exocrine Pancreatic Insufficiency): “My number two doesn’t look like a number two. Is there a number three?” America devours porn, brutality, and all manner of bad behavior, but we just can’t say diarrhea.

“It’s like Viagra on steroids.”  For erections lasting more than four months please contact….

Botox presented a heartfelt ad for migraine headache relief where one of the side effects is a headache.

Links for you just in case:

1. Seoul Secret: https://youtu.be/WAXOupabYOo
2. Volvo: https://youtu.be/UBt_niVG4sM
3. Google/ Pixel
4. Toyota:  https://youtu.be/49ht-GHpm5U 
5Miracle Mattress: https://youtu.be/2ZmM-2gj5Gc

Who gets your award this year? Let us know.

USA, USA, Slip Sliding AWAY



Listening to a radio show where a guest was commenting the local university recruiting efforts in “big-time sports.” He was very enthusiastic about the “classes” coming into the colleges for the 2017 season.The show’s hosts were rapturous. The players, being recruited nationally, were between 14 and 18. The segment filled up the phones and texts were “off the hook.” Go USA go




Here’s something interesting “bout” the USA. We’re, about, the only country on the planet, that plays its anthem before sporting events, a practice began spontaneously during WWI to show support. The US military pays many teams, including colleges, for military aircraft, the unfurling of massive flags, etc. So, kneel or don’t kneel. Is there really a need for such militaristic displays before watching people, who are sometimes 15 years of age, play a game? Take a look at HBO’s Inside Sports (September 2016) and see if your patriotic opinion changes.



If you make a lot of money just shut up

“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.” John F. Kennedy

“I love America more than any other country in the world and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually.”
― James Baldwin

Let’s see; some people are not standing for the national anthem.This is terrible as it’s probably the first time someone with public access has used an event to make a point about a belief or concern If someone makes a lot of money they should keep their mouths shut and just take the money, yep.
Question, why is the anthem played at sporting events?